Your lawnmower and leafblower and assorted other noise machines are ruining my life




Sounds like a robot is cumming into another robot’s gaping robot meathole outside my window right now while a dozen other robots have a robot knife fight,  so I was reminded of this old post. Remember when we did it like this on PTSOTL? The good old days wasn’t it? Simpler times. There was a list, and there were things, and you put those things onto that list.  I was P-ing S OTL back before it sold out, yo.

I can appreciate the need to meticulously landscape your 6X6 foot patch of yard outside your home every day of the week, all year long, as much as the next insane person. That grass has it coming, if you ask me. But can we agree on some sort of time window cone of silence deal? Have you got that leaf blower set to 11? Can I get a little less weed wacker in my monitor please? 

I’m ready for the machine apocalypse like any other man-boobed Summer Glau fan, but I just never thought the start of it would be this irritating. Turn that leaf blower torture device down a few notches every single person who lives on my block right now and all day every day for the next two months, or I’m going to stick your face in it.

Not really though, on account of …I’ve got a bad knee? Hard to tell anymore. I can’t even hear my own pain. 

UPDATE:

I’m not the only one who’s up in arms about this pressing issue. Residents of Greenwhich, CT were set to host a town meeting over the weekend to get to the bottom of things, Connecticut-style. (Not always an oxymoron). 

One group thinks leafblowers cause too much noise, and support a ban on the use of the machines between April and October. “The ban’s supporters characterized the existing regulations as a ‘joke, saying that leaf blowers contribute to hearing loss, asthma, allergies, high blood pressure, pollution, storm drain obstructions, soil problems and hazards to animals, plants and insects” and bloggers they probably just forgot to include because it was assumed, reports the Greenwhich Time. (h/t to Karen)

The yet-to-be-voted-on ban is already encountering resistance from landscapers, who complained that the restriction would pose a hardship for their businesses and drive up costs for them and their customers.

A number of other cities and towns, including Rye, N.Y.; Boulder, Colo.; and Palo Alto, Calif., have adopted similar bans.

“They’re so noisy. I just get so fed up with it,” said

Pat Oberbeck

, a resident of Church Street in Byram.

Oberbeck said she is surrounded by neighbors who use leaf blowers, including when her young grandsons are visiting and taking naps. She even offered to sweep up leaves for a

neighbor.

“I said, `You’ve got 10 leaves there,’ ” Oberbeck said. “I was ready to kill this guy.”

Haha, that’s classic Patty Oberbeck. Don’t fuck with her or her grandkids. I’m serious.

Anyway, let’s see what else, some other people say it will hurt their  landscaping business if they can’t use them all year, some other people probably complained about a bunch of shit. Who can say really? Not me because no way am I reading any more of an article in the Greenwhich Fucking Time about a leafblower related noise ordinance.